I told a few of my old high school friends about my new career, and how I’m approaching it. All but two were very positive and supportive, excited by my new opportunity. Those two, however, were extremely negative. Not overtly negative, but that kind of passive-aggressive negativity you run into sometimes, when telling people about what excites you or about something new you’re attempting to do or how you’re following your dreams. Things like, “Ha, I can’t see you doing something like that. What makes you think you can pull it off?” or “Yeah, good luck with that. No one except those few lucky ones who land a big publisher can be successful writing novels.”

Now, I’m not saying that I’m looking for nothing but well-wishes, but ok, yeah, actually, I am looking for nothing but well-wishes! The time for criticism or even cynicism is after I give you a draft copy of my work and ask for feedback (if you’re lucky). Then have at it! But if I’m simply telling you I’m pursuing my dream, then you should keep your negative opinions to yourself. You don’t know me. Sure, we went to school together for twelve years or so, but that was twenty-five years ago! People do change, sometimes a lot, sometimes just a little. But you don’t know me now, not that well.

I firmly believe in encouraging creativity, no matter who it is, whether they demonstrate talent or not. Many of the things that people do don’t have to have some kind of ‘natural talent’ backing them. For example, I play the saxophone. I do not have a ‘talent’ for music. I’ve had to study hard and practice a great deal to learn everything I know. The only musical talent I suppose I have is that I’m not completely tone deaf. And really, that’s all you need! Anyone can learn just about anything if they try hard enough and practice it.

Now, I also may not have a ‘talent’ for writing, but I can learn to do it. I think I can learn to do it well, even. I’m an avid reader and I have a pretty good handle on what works. I know what I like and I understand how to write it. I also know that many people like the same kinds of stories that I do, so I would expect they might like what I write. And that’s all you need.

To get back to that part about positive encouragement: there are many, many stories on the internet that tell of someone who felt they had a modest talent at something, but since they’d been encouraged in the past by someone important to them, they’d pursued that interest until they’d mastered it, and went on to achieve great and important things. But they readily admit that if that person had given them negative or dismissive responses, they’d have probably given up or pursued something else. I feel that way about my saxophone. It’s a huge part of me, and a powerful means to help me control stress. I enjoy creating music a great deal, and I can’t imagine my life without it.

Think about that the next time someone you know, be it an old friend from your younger years or a child you happen to know, maybe even your own children. Positive encouragement costs nothing and you don’t know how important that thing may be to them. It might be the world to them, and you’d be crushing a dream. That dream might lead to something wondrous.

Think about it.

Oh, and if you are a current close, personal friend and think I’ve gone off the deep end, then have your say. That’s what friends are for.  But think carefully to be sure it’s really necessary.

And be gentle, please.